Bad Dates of Melbourne/Australia FAQ

Firstly, I want to stress how generous and lovely it is that you take the time to write in. Thank you – we all appreciate your incredible efforts!

How do I submit a story?
Message Bad Dates of Melbourne or Bad Dates of Australia on Facebook or Instagram. I will see your name but it will not get published.

I won’t accept stories from people with a personal link to me.

I’m not in Melbourne. Can I send you my story?
Big yes! For Melbourne, send to Bad Dates of Melbourne or Bad Dates of Australia. Up to you.

For anywhere else – even outside of Australia – send to Bad Dates of Australia. If you are outside of Australia, please note that in your story intro. Thank you!

Will you reply?
Sometimes but not always.
Please don’t send a fresh message to get my attention or *bump* your message or Facebook will move you back to the end of the queue.

I am unlikely to reply if your question is answered here ๐Ÿ™‚

Can I tell everyone my story was published?
BDOM and BDOA are anonymous: please do not share the post on social media (including private pages); please do not tell people in the story; please do not tag and comment. I would like to run the Page in a way that isn’t “name and shame”.

Will my story get published?
Maybe. I read your story and might get back to your with some questions to fill in any gaps. Then it goes into a notepad (with no name attached) and your original message is deleted. Please make sure you include everything as I might not be able to include an “update”. I choose what gets published on the day. Sometimes it is soon, sometimes it is a long wait. Not everything gets posted.

Will my post be edited?
Posts are edited for length and clarity. If I think it’s going to be significant, I’ll ask your permission before publishing. I try to remove brand names and place names (bars, apps, restaurants, suburbs), where possible. I also try to remove descriptions of how a person looks, especially tattoos. This is mainly for legal reasons but also for anonymity.

Can I send an update if my story was published?
Sometimes. If there’s something crucial to include, please tell me in the original message.

Why was my story not published?
I don’t give individual feedback on why stories are not published – with one person running the Page, I am unable to go through the process. The main reasons stories are not published are:

Too identifying/obvious who it is about – try not to describe people’s looks, tattoos, employment, residence etc.
Too long/detailed to edit
Similar story already published
Not a popular theme
Too ‘adult’ to be published on Facebook – we have to adhere to Facebook Community standards – which essentially means ‘keep it vague’

How can I find a post?

Use the Facebook search tool – look for a relevant keyword then type ‘bad dates of melbourne’ or ‘bad dates of australia’.

For example: ‘ghost bad dates of melbourne’.

If you can’t find what you are looking for – remember there are two Pages. It might be on the other one.

What does OP mean?

OP means “original poster” aka the person who is telling the story.

Do you have tips for getting a story published?
Yep! ๐Ÿ™‚
Remember to tell me how it ended – how was the goodbye and did you ever hear from the person again?
Keep it short and if it’s not key – leave it out.
If there’s anything that’s beyond an M rating – gloss over it – or use language that is vague. We need to meet Facebook guidelines: try not to quote abusive language

Is there a word limit?
The shorter the better. Going over the 300 word mark usually makes them too detailed for social media.

I want to post asking for advice. Will you post it?
This format is not popular at BDOM or BDOA so I don’t publish them often. The best way to do it is tell us about your experience – like a story – and ask your question as the final sentence.

Can I submit my dating story from my blog/stand up comedy show/creative writing project/social media?
No. BDOM and BDOA is anonymous storytelling, which can’t be done when the story is already released/set to be released with names. You might want to submit elsewhere – I hope the project goes well, though!

Can we name and shame?
No. I don’t want to do this at BDOM and BDOA for legal and ethical reasons. Screenshots are not allowed – including screenshots of profiles and conversations. Tell it like a story.

Did you hide/delete a comment/ban a person?
Maybe. I don’t comment on moderation because my decision is final and I don’t want to enter into discussion on it. Also, there are a lot of people on the Page and it is not tracked.

You need to be polite to me and other BDOM/A’ers – this is mandatory. If you’re unsure if it’s ok or if it is shaming, discriminatory or rude – don’t make the comment.

People aren’t banned for “nothing”. For example, if you press a laugh react on a post with a serious or upsetting tone e.g. about discrimination, race or sexism – you will be banned.

No spam or advertisements; please do not promote things that are not relevant to the discussion.

I saw someone on the tram who looked nice but I didn’t speak to them. Can you put out a post asking for them to contact me?
I don’t do these posts – BDOM and BDOA are very high profile and people may not welcome the attention – even anonymously. They could be uncomfy. Your best bet is to sign up for Tinder and see if they pop up. We’re almost all on the apps these days – if they’re single and looking, there’s a good chance you can have your shot by swiping right!

Do you have a job outside of BDOM/A?
Yes, I work in digital!

I’m in the media. How can I speak with you?
Excellent! Fill out the form on this website and someone will reply to you soon.

Which are your favourite chicken nuggets?
I’m not brand loyal but Maccas are always a winner. I bought a deep fryer a few years ago and it has revolutionised my at home nug experience! Do recommend.

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